Thursday, October 1, 2009

Ruby Slippers

There's no place like home... ~ Dorthy

I've never really thought seriously about buying my own home. I've always been okay renting, not having to mow my own lawn, shovel snow, not being tied down to something. Not to mention, I didn't have too much confidence that I could swing it financially. Let's be real, it's scary to go into something like that by yourself.

I've moved around enough to know that home is where you make it. If I feel comfortable, welcome, peaceful and have a warm bed to lay down at night, the house can become my home. As long as I'm close to people that love me, I'm good to go.

I felt all those things where I'm at until Saturday.... when my Athena brought in unexpected visitors. Just a few, but enough to make me sick to my stomach. Then it got worse when I realized they came from the neighbor.

And I cried.

In the apartment.

At the laundromat.

On the phone.

At the vet.

Just like that, my house didn't feel like home. I was over apartment living.

Monday morning, I got pre-approved to buy a house. I was super excited, started looking, and had some strong possibilities in mind. So started the up and down cycle of deciding between buying my own house and renting.

Up and down.

Pros and cons.

Back and forth.

50 million times.

Every 5 minutes.

And the cycle continues.

It would be awesome, but I don't feel completely at peace (I've learned to listen to that voice, you know?) The timing isn't right.

Good news is, my house is more spotless than ever before (which makes sense when you vacuum every freakin' day...), and I haven't seen any of what I not-so-affectionately am referring to as the plague in 2 days. Also, I was encouraged to know I could actually get a house when I'm ready.

For the first time this week, I'm optimistic. And I'm hoping my house feels more like home very very soon.


Megan and Nate said...

oh my gosh, i can't believe you are/were considering buying a house. i mean i know you have always been wanting too, but you got preapproved for a loan...that is big time. oh how i hate that i am so far away. i want to be a part of this house hunting if and when you do it. i am glad you are at peace for now with waiting. that peaceful feeling always feels the best. we miss you!

Shannon said...

You're back! Sister, I love, love, love it!!! It will feel like home again very soon!